MY DARK PASSENGER
Joe. Blogs #74 – Sunday 14 April 2024
Howzit guys!
The Cape weather has been something else lately!! Last weekend I experienced the strongest winds I have ever seen! You always see those videos of people holding onto poles or getting blown off their feet and now I witnessed it for myself. We came out of it pretty well with no serious damage to the house. The rain was also excessive, and everyone was on high alert – thankfully, the rain didn’t seem to hit us that badly.
This past week my wife and I started watching Dexter on Netflix – we watched it previously but never finished the entire series.
For those people living under a rock 😊 Dexter is a serial killer who uses his affliction to do good, well sort of…he cannot contain his urge to kill but decides to use it to take out the really bad people who seemingly get away with murder!
In the series he refers to his affliction to kill as his ‘dark passenger’ and this got me thinking about my anxiety and how it also has become my dark passenger too. Although I would prefer to call him my ‘dark friend’. Just like Dexter has no control of his affliction, neither do I when it comes to my anxiety. Dexter chooses to use his affliction for a good purpose by channelling it into something good by taking out bad people rather.
My dark friend is also a passenger as he is always with me, but I like to think of him as that friend we do not really like to introduce to anyone else. He is a great guy but does not get along with anybody else. He is a bit awkward and makes other people uncomfortable. He gets you and you get him but nobody else does.
He would do anything for you, and you feel guilty walking away from him. He has seen you at your worst yet will always be there at your door when you need someone who you do not need to explain yourself to, every time.
Anxiety has become my friend; it never goes away. I have learnt to channel it as best I can. Some days my friend is quiet, other days he is not. He gets dark some days, leaving me feeling scared and alone in the world but I have learnt to challenge him now and I believe he is just trying to test me. When I do challenge him, I do start to feel stronger and more in control.
I wish he were never there but this I know will never happen…
Anxiety is about expectation. What we expect from ourselves or what others expect from us leads to anxiety. The challenge is learning to control our expectations and to also not impose them on others!
There will always be something to worry about in this world unfortunately but going easier on ourselves will help us feel more at peace.
I live with anxiety every day, but I’m not embarrassed about it. Yes, it has affected my life badly at times, but I acknowledge its power over me and work hard every day to control it and manage it.
Anxiety comes in all form and sizes and affects different people in different ways.
Learn to challenge it and understand where it is coming from?
I am a Life Coach who suffers from anxiety but equally, it helps me to identify it in others…
One of my goals is to build an anxiety retreat where people can visit and challenge their various anxieties.
Just remember you are not alone…anxiety exists in all of us. Contact me if you need to talk…
On a lighter note, this week my beautiful wife and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary!! Scary how time flies! Last year this time we were searching for waterfalls and this year we are hitting the town! We decided to stay in Heritage Square, Cape Town and explore some of the cities hidden gems. This part of the city dates back to the 18th century and the little hotel we stayed at was built in 1771! Bree street has developed into a trendy, viby part of town with restaurants popping up inside the heritage buildings. I always love to see how the contemporary designs are integrated with the historical buildings. The contrast between old and new is exciting for me and it is amazing how the old becomes cool and trendy creating a beautiful synergy.
City living is something very different for us as we are so used to living in the suburbs of Johannesburg. The city eventually became off limits in most areas, but Cape Town has managed to maintain some of its charm. The city still works properly and still has some appeal to visitors and locals. We felt like tourists for the day and enjoyed the different sights and sounds that the city brings with it.
Have an awesome week and I will see you on the other side!
Later,
Joe.blogs
